Script For Undercover Agents on TV

I enjoy watching TV shows like #Scorpion, #Quantico and #Agents of Shield. If you are a fan, you know when the agents go undercover they use ear buds that transmit and receive so they can communicate. Everyone knows that. So why is it that the mega-corporate outfits that are behind all the evil in the world never bother to check in their ears when they do a pat down? Surely, at least one employee has a TV and watches the shows.

I would like to see one scene that follows the script below:

KEN ENTERS. Ken: is a super undercover agent. Security stops him at the entrance of a meg-corporation (the one behind all evil in the world) after passing through the scanner.

TINY sits at a desk in front of ken. She is a female ex-wrestler now working security.

TINY: Sir, you just made my day.

KEN: What seems to be the problem?

TINY: Well, sir, our scanner indicated that you have a few items that you will have to leave here. You can pick them up when you leave the facility.

KEN: Like what?

TINY: (chuckles) Let’s start with the pistol in your waistband.

KEN: I have a permit to carry a concealed weapon. I have a constitutional right to bear arms.

TINY: True. However, we have the right to keep you out of this private property if you have a weapon. Surrender the piece or leave.

KEN: (removes pistol and places it on the desk) Okay. I forgot I even had it.

TINY: The other one too.

KEN: What other one?

TINY: The one strapped to your right calf.

KEN: (Removes second pistol) Now I feel naked.

TINY: I wish. We don’t allow cellphone either. Leave your cellphone.

Ken takes out his cellphone and places it on the desk.

TINY: Now the other one.

KEN: What other one?

TINY: The one strapped to your left calf.

Ken removes the second cellphone.

TINY: Our scanner indicates that you have ear buds.

KEN: No. No. That must be a false reading. I have nothing in my ears.

TINY: If you insist. (yells) Max!

ENTER MAXIMO, a former sumo wrestler now working security. He holds a large hand-held magnet to the side of Ken’s head. A small ear communication device pops out. He does the same to Ken’s other ear and another device pops out.

KEN: Oh. You mean those?

TINY: (giggling) Our scanner indicated that you have another device in your colon. Please remove that device too.

KEN: Now that’s too much. That has to be a mistake.

TINY: Okay, play it your way. Max!

Maximo starts toward ken with the magnet.

KEN: Oh, you know what? I think I am in the wrong place. I should be in the next building. I will just leave. Sorry for any inconvenience. Bye.

TINY: God, I love this job.



Add yours →

  1. Rather humorous! I would love to see this scene played out on any number of shows. What would be really funny is if there ISN’T a device in his colon!


  2. Brilliance.


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