#Myths about Butts Debunked

I recently blogged about debunking myths about the brain. I thought today I would continue in that vein and debunk the myths about butts (asses):

  1. Some people have their “head up their ass.” Not true. You can try this at home. No way will your head fit up your butt or anyone else’s butt.
  2. Some things are “half assed.” Okay, this one’s true. People can live with half an ass. Of course, they must be careful not to fall into the toilet. In some cases, surgeons might remove half an ass. In normal cases, individuals have been known to lose half their ass on a diet.
  3. People may say that they “lost their ass” in an investment or gambling. Not true. No one would want to accept an ass as an investment or a wager.
  4. It is possible to get an “ass chewing.” Okay, this one is true too but not the way you think. While it is possible to eat an ass, it is not recommended except in extreme circumstances. However, in the case of consenting adults in the privacy of their bedroom, some ass chewing may occur.
  5. Some people are “butt heads” or “ass holes.” Not true – heads and butts are not interchangeable parts in spite of what some surgeons might say. The butt has no brain. Stupid people should correctly be called “brain dead”, clueless or thoughtless but “butt head” or “ass hole” is simply not correct. While it’s possible to “butt heads” (note the use of “butt” as a verb) with someone, that is an entirely different thing and usually ends in one of the parties being injured or fired.
  6. It is possible to “kick ass” or “kick butt.” This is true. This phenomenon happens often in professional sports. It shouldn’t be taken: literally, but sometimes people do need a swift kick in the pants.
  7. Some people are “ass kissers” or “brown nosers.” This one is also true but not in the way most people think. The common misperception is that it applies to a worker who kisses up to the boss. It would be rare if there was any real “ass kissing” taking place. Real “ass kissing” takes in the bedroom between consenting adults (read #4, reference “ass chewing” above). “Brown nosers” are really “ass kissers” who have gone too deep or missed the mark.

For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson

Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or https://monteranderson.wordpress.com.

Advertisements

One Comment

Add yours →

  1. Yeah, something Bassackwards about this.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blue Blogs Network

A network of the best LE Blogs on the web:

Being Author

Promotions, reviews and publishing-related services.

Writer's Haven

Words from heart

Rishav K Singh

Project Theos

Rationalising The Universe

one post at a time

unbolt me

the literary asylum

Recipe in a Bottle

Connecting to Friends, Old and New, Through Recipes, Gardens, and Dinner Parties

Deidra Alexander's Blog

I have people to kill, lives to ruin, plagues to bring, and worlds to destroy. I am not the Angel of Death. I'm a fiction writer.

Sui generis Shaili

A Unique Style 📝 | 💫WorDeD with WiT👑👇

Shalu Gupta

Vision- From Heart

%d bloggers like this: