The Lies I Tell Myself (After 7 Decades)

I tell myself these lies over and over until I begin to believe them:

  1. That’s a name I won’t forget.
  2. I can easily lose those ten pounds.
  3. I don’t need to write that down – I’ll remember.
  4. I can still drive after four drinks.
  5. I can quit smoking/drinking/eating/drugs anytime I want.
  6. You still got it.
  7. Yeah, she wants me.
  8. My mind is as sharp as ever.
  9. I’m a very tolerant and reasonable person.
  10. There’s nothing wrong with my hearing – people mumble.
  11. Yeah, I can still wear this old outfit.
  12. I’m above average in intelligence.
  13. I’m a “people person.”
  14. I have a great sense of humor.
  15. I’m “open-minded”.
  16. I’m very truthful with myself.
  17. I’ll do it tomorrow.

If you lie to yourself enough times, you can lie to anyone.

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  1. Monte, so, so true. I have unretired (hence you do not see me in Writers’s Group) and teaching high school English in Ithaca. The one that strikes home with me is (really there are two) ‘hearing’ — I say “I heard that.” when I hear students “mumbling” about another students — a teacher’s ruse if ever there was one. #2 Memory — I had some salient point to make here – 10 minutes ago but – can’t remember.
    Loved this.



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