The Missing Additional Ten Commandments

Recently, the Arc of the Covenant was discovered in Jerusalem, and inside were found to be not Ten Commandments but twenty. Okay, don’t get all bent out of shape… I made that up. But what if there were ten previously unknown Commandments, what would they be? You recall the Ten Commandments? May not. They were mostly the “you shall not” type; making idols, swearing in vain, murder, adultery, stealing, lying, and coveting. There were a couple of the “you shall” type: honor God, your parents and whatever day you believe is the Sabbath.

If we didn’t know about the missing Commandments, are we still label for obeying them or is ignorance of the Commandments no excuse? Here are the missing Commandments with a short explanation:

You shall not cry over spilled goat’s milk. I guess we saw this one coming.

  1. You shall not see evil, hear evil, speak evil, or bad mouth your political opponents. This is not the same as lying – it’s about doing evil things like gossiping or running hostile ads about your opponent.
  2. You shall not poke the bear. Not sure if this referred to the Hittites, Canaanites, or Egyptians. It may have been a warning about the Romans.
  3. You shall not bitch unless you have a better solution.
  4. You shall not eat the fruit of the poppy plant or the cacao plant or the grapes of the vine plant. Okay, I guess we all blew this one.
  5. You shall not say anything at all if you can’t say something nice. This goes hand in hand with number 2 above.
  6. You shall not draw to an inside straight. WTF? Who knew God was a gambler? Now I discover this.
  7. You shall get a life. Couch potato isn’t a life.
  8. You shall close it if you open it,. This may have come about after someone left the door open and started global warming.
  9. You shall not think the world owes you anything you did not earn.

Moses went on to author many more laws, but the Ten Commandments were his best known work — the most controversial, and probably the most hated. Let me know if you think I missed some.

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