Reasons 11 Through 20 Why Couples Break Up

I read with interest an article on my news feed about the top ten reasons couples break up. It was very similar to a previous article on relationships. It mentions these reasons couples break up: no sex, money issues, empty nesting, bad communications, not compromising, cheating (duh), not enough in common, some really hard stuff happens — and it just doesn’t work anymore, one person is a total mess, and not being kind and generous with the other person. I’m really concerned about the next ten reasons couples break up. As a community services, I’ll provide those here:

  1. Imminent Death. These signs should be a red flag that your significant other might be planning to do away with you: secretly making bombs as a hobby and then trying to teach you how to drive a truck, buying gallons of antifreeze even though you don’t own a car, not telling you the balcony on your high-rise apartment has been removed, telling you to eat food that has been recalled and buying excessive life insurance on you.
  2. Too much sex. Let’s face it – too much sex is exhausting. Plus, it’ll get you banded from places like Walmart and Macy’s.
  3. Your significant other has forgotten your name or worst – keeps calling you by another name.
  4. Your significant other keeps hitting on your parents and siblings.
  5. You discover that you have sister-wives when you return from the honeymoon.
  6. You find out about the dozen biological children you weren’t told about.
  7. Your significant other hasn’t finalize the previous two divorces.
  8. Your significant other says the voices in his/her head hate you.
  9. Your significant other talks to an AK-47 while cleaning it.
  10. Your significant other shows more interest in her/his new 16-year-old step-child than you.

I’m sure there are other reasons couples break up. Please tell me.

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