Fifteen Practical Questions You Should Ask Your First Date

I read with interest an item (Wichit News) on my news feed about the seven questions you should ask your date on the first date. The questions concerned things like hobbies, careers, passions, goals and relationships. I was surprised because not only did I never ask these questions on the first date, I would never have thought of them. They seem impractical. As a public service I now present the more practical questions you should ask on a first date:

  1. Are you over 18? This should be your first question. Trust me. It’ll save you a lot of problems later on. Don’t trust the answer – ask for two forms of ID.
  2. Were you followed? This question is not a “yes” or “no” question. A yes or no answer is the wrong answer. The correct answer would be along the lines of, “Huh? What?”
  3. Are you a registered sex offender? You probably should check this out prior to your date. The answers can be tricky. If the answer is “yes”, that’s a deal breaker. If the answer is “no”, then follow up with “Are you an unregistered sex offender? To could save time by simply asking. “Are you a sex offender?”
  4. Were you ever on America’s Most Wanted or The Hunt with John Walsh? Here’s another question you should check into prior to your date. If the answer is “yes”, proceed with caution – might have been the victim.
  5. Does your significant other or mom know you’re here? This is a trick question.  ‘Of course not.” is not an acceptable answer. If the significant other or mom tags along, you have your answer.
  6. Are you an extraterrestrial, or illegal alien? Whether this is a deal breaker or not is up to you.
  7. What’s your safe word? This question used to be saved until the third date, but times change. Better to know ahead of time.
  8. Are you terminally ill? If the answer is yes, then follow up with, “How much time do you have?” This will determine how many dates you can have.
  9. What’s my name? If your date can’t remember your name that will tell how the date will go or whether your date has dementia.
  10. Is your divorce finalized? This is another question where a simple “no” answer may not be sufficient. If the answer is “no”, the next question should be, “When will it be final?”
  11. What did the voices in your head say about me? The answer to this question will be revealing.
  12. Did you dress yourself? This simple question is deep on many levels. It says something about your date’s mental health, significant others, health and color coordination. Having the belt and shoes match is not enough.
  13. Are you packing? You always need to know about concealed weapons. You may want to carry a weapon or mace yourself.
  14. Anything else I should know about you? Medical? Mental? Emotional?
  15. Are any of your exes in law enforcement, criminals or mental patients? Can’t be too careful.

I hope this helps those of you on a first date.

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