More Resume-Killers

I read with interest an article on my newsfeed from the Business Insider, “Never include these 9 résumé-killers on any job application.” The article said avoid listing hobbies, using personal pronouns (I, my or me), using present tense for a past job, listing objective, using old irrelevant jobs, listing professional contact information, using buzzwords, using unnecessary words and posting images. As usual, the article misses the mark on several key résumé-killers. As a community service, I will add more résumé-killers to avoid:

 1.      Don’t list your fraternity or sorority. There are basically two types of fraternities; those who have done something publicly offensive and those who haven’t…yet. It would be best not to admit to being a member until after you’re hired. Even after you get the job, you may not want to confess.

2.      When listing skills, remember sexting isn’t a skill unless you are applying for a position in the porn industry. Also, while making pipe bombs is certainly a skill, you may want to keep that secret. Drinking beer while standing on your head isn’t a skill you should list. That also goes for stalking, coloring, field stripping an AK47, shooting an RPG, breaking and entering, cooking meth and picking locks.  

3.      Don’t list references who are still in prison or pending trial. It’s best to wait until they’re out on bail.

4.      Don’t use family as references unless you still have copies of photographs you can use for blackmail.

5.       It may be too soon to list Trump University on your profile. Hold off on that.

6.       Don’t try to convince anyone that the 4 – 7-year gap in your work summary was a vacation.

7.       Don’t list your parole officer as a reference. Same for your Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor.

8.      Don’t misspell the name of the university you claim to have attended.

9.      Don’t try to be clever in your email address, i.e. buttkicker@whatever.com.

10.  You probably should omit the job you had in prison.

 I sincerely hope this helps you prepare your resume. Good luck.

For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or https://monteranderson.wordpress.com

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Zada

Live The Laptop Life Style

writerdmayall

Dave Mayall's "Authors from Around the World"

Diary of an Internet Nobody.(Archive)

Rants and Musings from the Ether.

Blue Blogs Network

A network of the best LE Blogs on the web:

Being Author

Book promotion, reviews & authors Blog

Writer's Haven

Words from heart

Rishav K Singh

Project Theos

Rationalising The Universe

one post at a time

unbolt me

the literary asylum

Recipe in a Bottle

Connecting to Friends, Old and New, Through Recipes, Gardens, and Dinner Parties

Deidra Alexander's Blog

I have people to kill, lives to ruin, plagues to bring, and worlds to destroy. I am not the Angel of Death. I'm a fiction writer.

%d bloggers like this: