How to Build Better Humans

The TV series, The Six Million Dollar Man, started each show with the quote, “Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better…stronger…faster.” Well we now have the technology to design the future human species – better than before.

Science is very close to completing the DNA sequencing and genome mapping of the species Homo sapiens. Once that is mastered, we can begin to create life and create a more perfect human being. In the very near future, we will be able to bring to life more environmental friendly and efficient people. Whether we’ll call them “people” remains to be seen. It’s important that we begin to discuss what we want in a perfect species to replace humans as we know them.

Obviously, we can’t continue to exist in this fashion in an increasingly unfriendly environment. Many parts of our bodies no longer serve a purpose: appendix, body hair, vomeronasal organ in the nose (detects pheromones), wisdom teeth, auricular muscles in the ear lobe (lets some of us wiggle out ears), coccyx (tailbone) erector pili muscles (causes goose bumps) and male nipples.

Unless there’s significant changes, homo sapiens will become as extinct as dinosaurs.

For discussion, lets started at the head and work down.

The Head: Let’s face it; our current heads are a mess.

  • Vision: We have two eyes in front which allows for depth perception. It’s characteristic of predators. However, it leaves us vulnerable to the sides where our peripheral is weak and blind to the rear and top. Our night vision sucks too. The man of the future should have eyes like a spider on top of the head with enhanced night vision.
  • Sense of Smell: The nose is poorly designed. It allows to smell our food just before we eat it but has a limited range and capability. It should be forked since most people talk that way anyway. By adding 12 inches will extend the range; one fork for smelling and one for temperature readings.
  • Sense of Taste: The sense of taste is very limited which explains why so many people have such “bad taste.” The average person has about 10,000 taste buds that can detect only sweet, salty, sour, bitter, or umami taste (“savory”) unlike catfish which typically have more than 100,000 taste buds. Humans of the future can be designed with 100,000 taste buds on their hands. They’ll be able to tell how “good” another person is with just a handshake.
  • Hearing: Our sense of hearing is so poor, we must use head phones or ear pieces to hear. As we age, our hearing goes. Modern microphones are very tiny. The human of the future doesn’t need ears shaped like airplane wings to hear. A small hole will work. Let’s face it; we use our ears mainly for holding our glasses and jewelry. No need for that nonsense in the future.
  • Voice: Our mouths get us into a lot of trouble. We speak our mind anytime and anywhere without much forethought to what we are saying. That will be solved by removing the vocal cords. Futures man will communicant telepathically without speaking. The mouth will be made as wide as the foot to ensure an easy fit.

Neck: Our current necks have a limited range of motion. Future man will be able to rotate his neck 180 degrees like an owl.

Heart: The human body was originally designed with redundant parts: arms, legs, eyes, ears, kidneys, etc. Even the brain has two parts. Fortunately, we have only one mouth. However, we currently have only one heart. WTF? When that heart fails – we’re done. Humans of the future will have two hearts.

Arms: How many times have you been working on something and suddenly realized you could use another hand or arm? No kidding. Two arms are too few. Three arms would be ideal but it would make designing clothes awkward. Four arms is the best solution.

Hands: Let’s face it; you need an apposable thumb. The thumb allows humans to grasp things and to beat the hell out of others. The index finger is need to point the way and to type slowly. The middle finger is used for obscene gestures. I  a future world there’d be no need for the middle finger. The ring finger and pinky finger are along just for the ride. A future human would have three fingers. Gone too will be finger nails. We won’t need claws. One of the future fingers will have a sticky surface for picking up small objects.

Legs: Having only two legs has always been a burden for humans. While must critters learn to walk within hours of their births, humans take a year and some never master it. Three legs would be more stable, but three legs would cause problems for clothes designs. Four legs would give future humans a more stable and efficient design not to mention saving wear and tear on knees. The knee joint was never a good design. The legs should be like spider legs with the body setting much lower below the level of the knees. This lowers the center of gravity making the body almost impossible to fall or trip. This would also be the natural position for standing, sitting, and sleeping. Thus, we would eliminate the need for chairs, beds and most furniture in general.

Feet: There was a time when our ancestors use their feet to grasp tree limbs. No longer. Our current design is practically useless. The human of the future won’t have feet. Instead of feet, we’ll have hooves. Makes more sense. What good are toes? They always seem to be in the way. We stub them, smash them and paint the nails. They stink, they hurt and they over heat. The future human won’t have any toes.

Brain: Obviously, the brain is much too small. As we age, our brains become full and lose memory space. Thus, the brain begins to dump old memories to make room for new ones. Like the future heart, the brain needs redundancy. We need a second brain. The second brain will give us a second opinion before we speak and make fools of our future selves. Future man will have two much bigger brains with a much great memory capacity.

air: I’m sure that hair served a purpose at one time but now we try to shave it off. The human of the future will be hairless – totally. That’ll save a lot of time and expense now wasted o grooming hair.

Reproduction system: Let’s face facts. Despite what the movies and TV tell us, sex is a messy affair. It also consumes a lot of time that could be used in more productive endeavors. There’s no need for it. Babies can be born in test tubes with better results. The pleasure from sex is short lived. The human of the future will not have sex and thus won’t have sex organs. A larger brain will allow for more pleasure without sex. In fact, there won’t be males or females. There will be just one gender. This will solve a lot of issues we currently have.

Digestive System: Our digestive tract isn’t the greatest. Regardless of what we eat, we never know what will come out; might be a river or a cow pile. Rabbits and deer do it right. Their poop comes out as small pellets. Future humans will crap pellets like rabbits – much more tidy. This will be facilitated by eating only kale.

I know this is a lot to take in but we must start now before some Dr. Frankenstein builds a monster.

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