Now that Spring is here, I read with interest a news item about what to throw out from your closets. Heading the list were clothes but also old Halloween costumes, cosmetics, and anything from your ex’s. I think several things were omitted from the list. I have included them here:
- Your cousin who has been in the closet since junior high school.
- Those old eight track tapes (also the 78 rpm records).
- The pervert neighbor who likes to hide in there while you dress.
- Your significant other’s underwear that you like to dress up in when your significant other is out of town.
- Your stash of Playboy magazines and other porn.
- The KKK hood and gown that you thought would make a hilarious Halloween costume but didn’t.
- The booze or candy that you hid there so your significant other wouldn’t find it.
- Several skeletons from your family.
- Jimmy Hoffa’s body.
- Whips, chains and other erotic paraphilia from former lovers.
- Old Barbie dolls. Who needs them, right?
- You brother’s baseball card collection. A useless hobby.
- Old comic books dating back to the 1930’s. Who reads this stuff?
- Old pipe bombs your significant other never finished making.
- That ghost that haunts your house.
I hope this has helped you in your Spring cleaning.
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