I read with interest an article from Brides by Jaimie Mackey, “What You Should Never, Ever, Ever Do at a Wedding.” She listed forgetting to RSVP, showing up late, not showing up at all, wearing white, disrespecting the staff and getting trashed. I guess she forgot the big no-no’s. Here they are:
1. Never speak up when the minister said, “If anyone objects to this union, speak up now or forever hold your peace”; unless you have a really good reason.
2. Never show the videos from the bachelor/bachelorette party.
3. Never bring the slut that the groom used to date as your plus one.
4. Never hit on the groom/bride or the parents.
5. Never bring your AK-47 painted white.
6. Never take your clothes off.
7. Never challenge the Bride’s Maids to a pole dancing contest.
8. Never bring Tupperware to the reception.
9. Never challenge the Bride or Groom to a wrestling match.
10. Never ask the Bride or Groom if they’re interested in a threesome.
11. Never share your stash.
12. Never tell the Bride or Groom, “You can do better.”
13. Never tell the Bride that you can’t believe she wore white.
14. Never bet on how long the marriage will last.
15. Never bring your pet monkey or snake.
If you can keep these simple rules in mind, you might stay out of trouble at the wedding.
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