Recently, the Arc of the Covenant was discovered in Jerusalem, and inside were found not Ten Commandments but twenty. Okay, donâ€™t get all bent out of shapeâ€¦ I made that up. But what if there were ten previously unknown Commandments, what would they be? You recall the Ten Commandments? May not. They were mostly the â€œyou shall notâ€ type; making idols, swearing in vain, murder, adultery, stealing, lying, and coveting. There were a couple of the â€œyou shallâ€ type: honor God, your parents and whatever day you believe is the Sabbath.
If we didnâ€™t know about the missing Commandments, are we still label for obeying them or is ignorance of the Commandments no excuse? Here are the missing Commandments with a short explanation:
- You shall not cry over spilled goatâ€™s milk. I guess we saw this one coming.
- You shall not see evil, hear evil, speak evil, or bad mouth your political opponents. This is not the same as lying â€“ itâ€™s about doing evil things like gossiping or running hostile ads about your opponent.
- You shall not poke the bear. Not sure if this referred to the Hittites, Canaanites, or Egyptians. It may have been a warning about the Romans.
- You shall not bitch unless you have a better solution.
- You shall not eat the fruit of the poppy plant or the cacao plant or the grapes of the vine plant. Okay, I guess we all blew this one.
- You shall not say anything at all if you canâ€™t say something nice. This goes hand in hand with number 2 above.
- You shall not draw to an inside straight. WTF? Who knew God was a gambler? Now I discover this.
- You shall get a life. Couch potato isnâ€™t a life. Tweeting isnâ€™t a life. Facebook isnâ€™t a life.
- You shall close it if you open it,. This may have come about after someone left the door open and started global warming.
- You shall not think the world owes you anything you did not earn.
Moses went on to author many more laws, but the Ten Commandments were his best known work — the most controversial, and probably the most hated. Let me know if you think I missed some.