New Year’s Resolutions for the Pandemic

I, for one, am glad to see 2020 come to an end. Now we must prepare for 2021, and it doesn’t seem that the pandemic will magically disappear next year. With that in mind, here are my New Year Resolutions for 2021:

1. I resolve to wear pants when I participate in a Zoom meeting, especially while drinking hot coffee.
2. I resolve to wear sweats whenever I’m in the same room as the camera on my computer.
3. I resolve to remove the lipstick from my mask before I return home.
4. I resolve to let my wife back inside the house as soon as this pandemic is over.
5. I resolve to change masks as often as my underwear or every month, whichever comes soonest.
6. I resolve to double check to ensure I arrive home with the same spouse and kids that I left with.
7. I resolve to practice social distancing: 6 feet from friends, 12 feet from strangers, 18 feet from in-laws, and 10 miles from work.
8. I resolve to stop using plastic bags as masks.
9. I resolve to change my underwear once a month whether I need to or not.
10. I resolve to shower once a month whether I need to or not.

So, happy New Year and may 2021 be safe and fruitful for you and yours. –Monte